All long term relationships have lasted that long because they have an "understanding."
What that means to one couple would be very different from another. We're like snowflakes; the couples. We're different because we click in a way that not everyone - family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, people on the street - can always fathom. That is what makes the couple tick.
So when people ask us what is the secret of a long lasting relationship? We don't have a clear answer other than 'communication' and 'you have to work at it everyday.' We continue to learn from each other but we have an understanding.
We understand how one would react to certain issues or scenarios. We know how to push each other buttons whether intentionally or not. We know when its time to back off and when to acquiesce even though sometimes that compromise leans towards one person and not both. Don't think that its a long term relationship, think of it as an adventure that you explore everyday.
So when you see a couple who have been together for more than a decade not hold hands or not talk while at the dinner table, don't judge. They may not be communicating, in your perspective, but they are. A simple look, a nudge, an eyeroll, a twitch, we all have our ways of somatic communication. Whether you like it or not, in time, as a couple you end up having an 'understanding.'
